• Mary Elizabeth Sieg-Weeks

April gives excuses!

When I tell people that I run a blog to raise awareness of Domestic Violence they often feed me tidbits of their life but do not ever like my responses. They obviously are aware of the abuse they are living but leaving the situation is just something they cannot yet consider.

April: "So what do you write about on your blog?"

Me: "I write short stories to raise awareness of Domestic Violence"

April: "Oh, so that girl that was killed recently at ECMC, that was Domestic Violence, right?" (note- this incident happened June 2012.)

Me: "Yes! In that case her attacker was an ex boyfriend that had been stalking her."

April: "Oh. You know, my boyfriend gets very angry at me if I wake him for work without being frisky. If we don't have sex in the morning, I can't even be there with him. It really is an unbearable situation."

Me: "Honey, that is not something you have to live with. There is a center downtown that can help you get out of your situation and if you want I can go with you."

April: "Leave him? No! I could never do that. He doesn't hit me or anything and he doesn't really mean the things he says to me; I just didn't wake him up the right way."

Me: "You do know it's not your responsibility to please his every whim? It is your body. No means no even in a committed relationship."

April: "I know, it's my fault, really; I know how he likes to wake up."

This conversation can go on forever because victims can forever recycling every lie their abuser has ever told them.

"It's your fault."

"No one will ever believe you."

"You are my wife, it's not rape!"

"No one cares about you, except me."

What are some of the lies you have been told?

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